Month: June 2020

THE BRUNETTE JOGGER AND BOSTOCK V. CLAYTON COUNTY

THE BRUNETTE JOGGER AND BOSTOCK V. CLAYTON COUNTY

We were taking our morning walk on an early June beach vacation when a runner approached from the opposite direction. But something looked wrong. I couldn’t tell what at first, but as the person neared, I thought, that’s a huge woman. She was at least six-feet four-inches tall, in pink and blue running gear, wearing large dark sunglasses, brunette, shoulder-length hair not in a ponytail like most female runners, but flopping around her face, large breasts bouncing in rhythm with each step. Not an ounce of fat, powerfully built. But something’s not right, I thought. Then it hit me. That’s not a woman. The proportions are all wrong. The shoulders are too wide, the hips too narrow, the leg muscles too well defined. And that’s a wig partially obscuring a man’s strong jawline. That’s a man trying very hard to be a woman and failing.

I felt sad for the man. Statistics show that almost everyone who attempts transition, surgically or otherwise, from one gender to the other ends up with the same level of depression or worse that drove them to that drastic step in the first place.

Fast-forward to June 16. I pulled up the news to read the following: Supreme Court Re-Writes 1964 Civil Rights Act: Title VII to Include Sexual Orientation.

My heart sank. I have followed the legal aspect of our culture’s struggle to understand and accommodate people with sexual orientation and gender identity issues for over 20 years. I believe the Bostock decision will be the single most destructive force in civic life for the next fifty years. Its adverse effects on our Constitutional rights of freedom of conscience, freedom of religion, and freedom of expression will be enormous.

As this blog is too short to explain all the reasons why I believe this, I have referenced several articles in the footnotes[1] that will explain the case, the court’s decision, and the legal ramifications that are likely to follow. I urge you to read all of them and think through what this means for you, your walk with God, your children, your business, your profession, and your country. Followers of Christ must love everyone the same, but we must not be shallow in our thinking about these things. The consequences are too significant.

Instead, I offer the following brief but practical outcomes I believe most likely to flow from Bostock.

Biological men will be allowed by law to participate as women in every female designated space in society, bathrooms, gyms, dressing rooms, athletic competitions, etc. It will be against the law for you to insist that boys and men stay out of your daughter’s bathrooms and other private spaces in any school, nonprofit, or other entity that accepts government funds. If your local public school wants to host a cultural event with drag queens dancing for grade-school children, you will not be able to object.

As transgenderism gains legal status, its popularity will grow among vulnerable, school-age populations. Driven by social contagion and peer influence among friend groups, Great Britain has seen a 4400% increase in referrals for girls wanting to be boys.

Biological men and same-sex oriented people, in general, will now be treated by law as a privileged class, eligible for every civil, educational, and legal advantage extended to racial and ethnic minorities by Title VII of the civil rights act of 1964. Business owners of all types who have scientifically sound and or personal religious convictions against the hiring of gender disoriented people will have no recourse in the law. Religious schools that refuse to bow to this law will lose accreditation and nonprofit tax status as well as eligibility for student loans, vouchers, and education savings accounts.

Due to her personal history of sexual assault and domestic abuse, Harry Potter author and committed feminist, JK Rowling, has come out strongly in opposition to the transactivist movement. Rowling is not a Christian and supports much of the LGBT movement. But her charitable foundation concentrates on helping biological women and children, including female survivors of sexual abuse, overcome the “visceral sense of the terror” she remembers from her past. I’ll give her the last word.

“But, as many women have said before me, ‘woman’ is not a costume. ‘Woman’ is not an idea in a man’s head. ‘Woman’ is not a pink brain, a liking for Jimmy Choos or any of the other sexist ideas now somehow touted as progressive. Moreover, the ‘inclusive’ language that calls female people ‘menstruators’ and ‘people with vulvas’ strikes many women as dehumanising and demeaning. I understand why trans activists consider this language to be appropriate and kind, but for those of us who’ve had degrading slurs spat at us by violent men, it’s not neutral, it’s hostile and alienating.”

[1] High Court Delivers Big Win for Transgender Rights; After Bostock: liberties setback or liberties apocalypse?; Transgender employees v. Christian Business Owners;  The Aftermath of Bostock: A Cultural Seismic Shift.

DON’T SCREW UP A Father’s Day Reflection

DON’T SCREW UP A Father’s Day Reflection

Back in the ’90s, when the Christian men’s movement was booming, and books on godly masculinity were flying off the shelves, I attended a men’s conference with several well-known speakers. Among them was Steve Farrar, author of the bestseller, Point Man: How a Man Can Lead His Family.

One of the small-group exercises popular in the break-out sessions of those conferences was to develop a personal mission statement and then share it with the group. The conference speakers did the same and shared theirs from the podium.

Several leaders gave thoughtful, spiritual-sounding personal mission statements. Then Farrar walked to the mic, complimented the other guys on their profound thinking, paused a moment, and said, “Mine goes like this: Don’t screw up.”

The room exploded in laughter. I forgot the other men’s statements before I got home, but I’ve never forgotten Farrar’s.

I have three grown daughters, and I made plenty of mistakes as their father, but by the grace of God, they still love me, still walk with Christ, and are doing quite well in the world. Sunday is Father’s Day, and in the spirit of Steve Farrar, I offer the following advice on how not to screw up.

Be their father, not their friend. Project calm, resolute authority. Authority is not the same as authoritarianism, and this blog is too short to go into all that implies. (See John Rosemond’s works for that). But remember, kids feel safer and grow up healthier when a strong and kind man sets the boundaries for their lives and enforces them. Now, we are friends.

Set the spiritual example. I’m a pastor, and my wife is an educator, but it may surprise you to learn that we never, except for Advent devotionals, had family Bible studies. I know that works for some families, but for many kids, it just feels forced. My daughters saw their dad, almost every day of their lives, sitting in his chair with his Bible or some other good Christian book open, communing with his heavenly Father, and their mom, on the floor in her room, her Bible and journal in her lap doing the same.

Speak calmly when correcting. I think this was what the Apostle Paul was referring to when he wrote, “ Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”[1] Children are remarkably sensitive to the power in a man’s voice. I can’t count the number of times my daughters thought I was yelling at them when I felt I was calmly giving direction. A shouting father frightens young children and demeans older ones. Projecting authority is about the way you carry yourself, your integrity, and consistency in discipline, not about screaming at your kids.

Affirm them as often as you can and keep your criticism to a minimum. My daughters do not complain about this with me, but I cannot count the number of men who’ve told me over the years how hard it was to get their father’s approval. Constant criticism cripples’ children, even years into adulthood. It is OK to teach them to strive for excellence, but perfection belongs to God alone.

Release them to God. The hardest thing to know is when they are ready to take full responsibility for themselves. And the hardest thing to do is let them go to experience the full consequences of their choices. The trick is to start early, with little things, and work up to the big ones.

I’ll leave you with another quote from Farrar: “Satan’s strategy in the war on the family is to neutralize the man…You were appointed to be head of your family. Like it or not, you carry the responsibility. You are the point man.”

[1] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (Col 3:21). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

A LIZARD NAMED MELINDA and other thoughts on neighborliness

A LIZARD NAMED MELINDA and other thoughts on neighborliness

If you are heartsick at all the hatred and strife going on in our country right now, I have an encouraging story for you.

My wife and I recently returned from a beach vacation. It will come as no surprise to those who understand ministry life that I do my best not to look pastoral on these trips. I wear shorts, sandals, and sunglasses everywhere, along with a big hat. I don’t shave. I keep to myself and do things that recharge my emotional batteries. And except for sending a few photos to my immediate family, I also disconnect from email, news, and social media.

Even so, it was hard to miss the headlines about police brutality, racial strife, and riots. Tybee Island, Georgia, where we stayed, is just outside Savannah. We couldn’t help but wonder how that old southern town would be affected. Would there be sullen looks and incivility between the races?  But when we stopped at a visitor center staffed entirely by African Americans, we were greeted with smiles and great courtesy.

The same was true on the beach, where the racial mix is relatively even. Every African American individual or family we encountered, in fact, everyone black or white, seemed to make it a point to make eye contact, smile, and engage in polite conversation.

Then one morning, I got up at 5:30 and walked out to the beach to enjoy the sunrise and take some pictures. I found my spot and just stood there facing east, letting my inner thoughts bob like a kite in a capful of wind.

Several people were out by then, jogging, strolling, and some just standing like me, waiting to meet the sun. Then along came a smallish barefoot man maybe thirty-five years old, round John Lennon glasses, long black hair in a double segmented ponytail down his back, scruffy beard, grey shorts, loose-fitting beige short-sleeve shirt. He walked with a quick, nervous gait, a slender stick like a cane in his right hand, and made a beeline toward me up the sand berm. As I kept my eye on his cane, I thought, six o’clock in the morning, and I’m about to be hit up by a homeless guy.

“Excuse me,” he said, “but are you a pastor?”

You could have knocked me over with a feather. “What did you say?”

“Are you a pastor?”

Only two beings could have told him that. I wonder which one it was, I thought. 

“Yes.”

“Well, so am I. Latter-Day Saints, you know, but it’s all the same. Are you the pastor of…” He named some church nearby that I missed.

“No.”

It was about that time that I noticed the ten-inch lizard—perched would be the wrong word, more like molded—onto his left shoulder. I guess I hadn’t seen it before because it was facing backward and blended perfectly with his shirt, tail hanging down another eight inches or so across his chest, utterly still.

“What’s your name?” I asked, thinking, this guy is right out of Lewis’s The Great Divorce. I wonder if it talks to him?

“Louis.”

“And who’s your friend?”

“That’s Melinda.”

“Oh.” I considered taking his picture but felt it would be impolite.

“Well,” he said, “don’t let the (garbled in the wind) get to you. It’s the new millennium, you know!” And off he went into the morning gloom, Melinda staring over his shoulder, never having moved a muscle.

I’ve been reflecting on that encounter ever since. It occurred to me that everyone we met on that trip, black, white, Asian, Latino, and even a guy with a lizard on his shoulder who I thought was going to ask me for money, acted with an extra measure of courtesy and civility toward one another. It was refreshing.

So, when the world is full of hatred and strife, and you feel helpless about it, remember, we cannot solve the world’s problems. But we can love the neighbor that is right in front of us—even the ones with pet lizards on their shoulders.